Thursday, September 30, 2010

Love is Battle-filled

"Love is a battlefield, those who want true love have to fight for it. Beyond differences created by humans such as caste, creed, country, religion, race and culture."  Santosh Kalwar

And thus the wisdom of man flows from his lips. Yet when I look at the first part this quote, "Love is a battlefield," I can't help but think about it's meaning and/or intention. Now I don't know much about Mr. Santosh Kalwar (besides what wikipedia tells me, which is very little), nor could I possibly know what he meant by such a statement. However, "Love is a battlefield, those who want true love have to fight for it" is fairly straightforward. Love isn't easy (to find or 'maintain') and it's (usually) a constant struggle.

Now, we as mankind long for companionship and to be loved, whether by our parents, our friends, or a significant other. I've never been in love, but I have a lot of people that I love, and I certainly love God. The battlefield of love for me is quite different from how the world would see it. They battle for love of men, seeking true love among each other (which they fail to realize they can't have True love outside of God). The battle I have with love is this:

Seeking to love my neighbors and fellow men, as well as seeking a godly relationship with a potential suitor who could become my husband later on, without letting that love distract me from loving God first and foremost. We are commanded to love each other (Mark 12:31) but  is it not true that we can do so to the extent of forgetting to love God? I know I have. I let the crush I had on a particular person consume me so much that I was seeking and dreaming of a loving relationship with him over furthering and deepening my love for and with God. Since then, I have confessed this sin, and only by the grace of God I haven't fallen into it again (I pray God keeps from ever falling into it again!). But for a Christian , the battlefield of love isn't finding someone to love and keeping that love alive, but it's loving others and not letting it get in the way of the most important love in our lives.

The love of Christ Jesus, our God and Saviour. We are to love others -- but never more than we love God.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Nostalgia much?

So it's finally happened. I've begun my Senior year of college. As I look back over the past years, the memories I find are so fresh in my memory that it seems like they happened just yesterday. I can't fathom how three years has passed so quickly, yet here I am, almost halfway through my 7th semester of college. Wow, seven semesters. I remember when it was an accomplishment for me just to make it through my first semester! It all went by in a blur, yet I remember everything so distinctly. As I think about the people I've met, the friends I have made, and the memories that will never seem like they happened more than a day ago, I can't help but feel nostalgic. True, I am looking forward to graduating this coming May, but there are things and most certainly people that I will miss here. 

That being said, I turn to the future, because it does me little good to dwell on the past in such a manner and wish to go back in time (though there are certain parts of my college life that I would NOT wish to relive!). The thought of graduating excites me! It marks the beginning of "a new chapter" in my life, and as the pages leading up to that chapter turn ever so quickly before me, I eagerly await what comes next. But then I think, "What does come next?" I can't help but wonder, and feel a little anxious at the thought. I'm graduating. This is the last time I'll be moving into the dorms. The last time I'll have a fall, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and Spring break. The last time I'll sign up for the next semester! Next Fall I won't be starting school. 

I reflect on my senior year of high school, and recall so vividly thinking, "I can't wait until I'm done with this year, I won't have to do school anymore!" (that was before I had decided to come to college). And now that I'm in the Senior year of college I think, "I look forward to graduating, but what in the world am I going to do after that?!" It's hard figuring out what God wants me to do. I've given thought to grad school, to trying to find a job in illustration (Lord willing) not too far from home so I don't have to move just yet. And of course there is the question of "I wonder when I'll get married?" that I've had for some years and still sits in the back of my mind at times. Even as I consider the seeming "uncertainty" of my future I feel a peace. I know God will take care of me -- He promised he would! "Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?" Matthew 6:26; "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28. 

So I'm not worried about graduating despite the fact that God has not yet made the path he has laid out for me clear. He's led me thus far in my life, and I know He's not about to stop. I must have faith, trust in him, and keep loving and obeying Him; He'll do the rest, which is to say, He'll do it all. He only requires that I obey and love Him. And with those thoughts in mind, I can't feel anxious, I can't worry, and my nostalgia all but vanishes. Because I've seen what He's done in my life in just these three years. I can't wait to see what he'll do for me in the years to come!

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-8 

Monday, September 20, 2010

Starting Over

So, I haven't posted since last February. I decided to start over... I don't know how ofter I'll be posting, but here goes nothing!

Like the title says, I'm starting over. That means:
-New look
-New layout
-New archive.

Yes, I deleted everything I'd posted in the past. that's because I doubt any of you go back and read what I've posted on a frequent basis, let alone at all. So I'm re-doing everything, including posts.